Issue #42

Hi beautiful, 

I went for a walk by the beach today.  This year has been so unpredictable.

We all say we like surprises, but that of course is a lie!
We like surprises when it's things that we want.
Nobody likes surprises we don't want.

Nearly Summer-like weather in November, for me, has been a pleasant surprise.  

Can you think back to some pleasant surprises you recently enjoyed in your life?

Welcome to issue #42 of {Upgrade with Nelly}  

In this newsletter I discuss self-care, personal productivity, business, positive mindset, and how to balance busy home life. 

Know someone who would enjoy the newsletter? Share it with them.

1. Weekly Check-Ins

Ok ladies.  Let's do this!

It's honesty time!

I'm feeling nervous because I know that I did not dedicate enough time and effort to my new commitments. 

However, this is exactly why we do these weekly check-ins!  It's not only to check things off the list and to feel great about ourselves.  I've done plenty of those in the previous issues when I shared how I kept myself focused and motivated and got things done.  Also, weekly check-ins are an opportunity to refocus and do better. 

So don't beat yourself up if you got distracted or had a difficult time with any of your goals.  Reflect and re-set.

The goals I set for the month of November are:
- exercise
- choose words wisely
- create and share content
- play games

Here is where I'm at.

1. Get back to exercise

I made the simplest easiest commitment: 
Exercise for 15 minutes a day. 
That's it.
Just 15 minutes a day!

Sounds too easy.

But honestly, it has been SO hard.  I have been wanting to do anything and everything ELSE but exercise last week.  Major resistance.  I even started folding laundry when it was exercise time. 

Our resistance shows up when we are trying to do something good and positive for ourselves or others.  I remind myself not to let resistance win.  And it's not hard, once I start.  So the goal is just to get off the couch and start.  Just start!

I decided to do the 30-day squat challenge (link below).
This takes about 5-10 minutes.  And the remainder of the time I stretched or lifted some weights.  And I always end the workout with holding a 60-second plank.

Additionally, I have been going on 20-minute speed walks daily.   I don't think of this walk as exercise, rather I think of it as my thinking time, creativity time, clarity reboot, solo time, vitamin D infusion (I aim to go mid-day when the sun is out).  I know that this is great for my physical health, but I mainly do it for my mental health.  

Tip 1: Easy does it.  How can you incorporate exercise into your life?  Start at 3 minutes a day if you really resist exercise.  But if you are going great with it, how can you upgrade it?  Try something new perhaps?  Or increase the time or intensity of your workouts.

Insight #2: Don't forget about your mental health.  What are you doing for your mental well-being?

2.  Choosing words wisely

I am working on a new self-improvement habit of choosing words that are kind, empowering, and positive.

Last week I shared some of my reframes.
Here are the new reframes I've been working with this past week:

Instead of: "I'm worried about....." 
I'm going with: "everything will be great.  Things always work themselves out."

Instead of "I can't..." 
I'm going with a more honest statement of "I choose not to..." 
This is more honest!  And it gives me the power to choose otherwise.

Instead of "I should..."
I'm going with "If I really wanted to, I could..."
*This one I just learned from Louis Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life".

Lastly, there is an individual in my life who I've been really upset with.
Instead of thinking about everything they do wrong...
I'm reframing to think of things they do right.

Judging others favorably is a habit we can develop.
Judging OURSELVES favorably is equally, if not even more, important.

I read on someone's IG page a quote along the lines of "instead of thinking what's wrong with me, I will think of what's right with me".


3.  Daily Lesson

Nope, didn't happen.

I've been planning, list-making, brainstorming.  
But haven't put out much new content.

However, I did have some great ideas.
The only way to test if these ideas are actually are as great as they feel in my brain is to implement them.

To be continued (next week)...

4. Play games

Allowing myself to play more should be the easiest goal ever.



Getting started was hard!

I have things to do.
Who has the time to just play?
I'll play after the work gets done.

So many excuse!

Once I got started, it was awesome.

I played tic tac toe with Hannah (my 8-year old).

I played "never have I ever" with my friends (thanks ladies for going along with this :). You know who you are)

I bought myself new Sudoku puzzles.
*link below

I promise to try to be less boring next week and try more exciting games.

 I did get started on this goal though- and for that I'm proud.

Please send your game suggestions my way.

2. An exercise

"I love me because _____" 

How many of these fill in the blanks can you list?

Grab a notepad and a pen. 
And do it.

Your assignment:
List at least 10 things you love about yourself.  Start each sentence with "I love me because...".
You can modify and start with "I am amazing because..."

It's time we stop judging our imperfections and start loving ourselves.  I will be including more exercises in upcoming issues, but for now, please start with this one.


- I love me because I'm creative.
- I love me because I have a healthy body.
- I love me because I am an honest person.

- I am amazing because I always see the good in others.
- I am amazing because I apologize when I'm wrong.
- I am amazing because I give the best, most thoughtful birthday gifts.

3. Health Tip

When we are talking about health - we need to remember that it's not just about the health of the bodies, it's also about the health of the minds (and health of the mind of course affects the health of the body).

Mental health is a huge issue in our world. 

If you are feeling emotional pain...feelings of anxiety, unease, inability to sleep, depression or deep sadness, raging anger...please seek professional help.  

Many women feel that it's shameful or embarrassing to seek the help of a counselor, coach, therapist, or psychologist.  I disagree!  It is MOST admirable when women take control of their lives and pursue resources to help them get better. 

If you are not doing well, it doesn't mean that you are bad, weird, unworthy, or broken.  

It means you are human and living in the year 2020.
This has been such a challenging year for many.

But especially if you had the added pressures of job loss, financial struggles, overwhelm from your children's school closures, loss of a loved one, marriage problems, conflicts with those close to you, or other fears.  

Or perhaps nothing really happened on the outside, but some trigger must have been activated within you because you are just not yourself - please seek help.

There is nothing wrong with you if you can't figure it out on your own.  

You deserve to feel happy, healthy, and balanced.

4. Bad Habits

I am so passionate about the pursuit of habit changes.  These are the most meaningful goals to pursue, in my opinion.

It is possible yet very challenging to get rid of bad habits, or even to minimize them.
"Watch less TV"
"Quit coffee" 
"Be less judgmental of myself or others"

All amazing goals.  
All are possible to achieve!  
Yet, all of difficult to achieve in the way they are approached.

It's not easy to quit smoking, quit sugar, stop yelling at your kids, stop complaining, stop over-snacking, stop your phone addiction.

It's possible!
But it's challenging.
If not done properly.

I know because I've done it myself.

I know because habit-change (as in, the elimination of bad habits and minor addictions) is one of the key areas I work with my coaching clients on.

My advice to them, and to you, is to stop over-focusing on stopping a bad habit, and instead to focus on creating a "replacement" good habit. 

When I work with clients privately, we go deeper and look for good habits that would fulfill the same emotional need that the bad habit was fulfilling.

5. Resources mentioned in today's newsletter

These are the products and resources I have mentioned in today's issue.

 The 30-day squat challenge

You Can Heal Your Life (book) by Louis Hay

Tic Tac Toe

Sudoku game I bought myself

Thanks for reading.
Please share this newsletter with friends and family.

Have a happy week.

 Which section of today's issue did you enjoy the most? 

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Wishing you health, happiness, and success in all of your endeavors.

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